Helpful Advice for Living with a Roommate

Apartment Complex Life

Whether you are young and just starting out, or you are older and starting over, or even if you are a married couple looking to cut expenses by taking in a boarder, living with a roommate is something that takes work and open communication - almost as much as being married. Avoiding fights, blowouts, and vindictive vengeful games with the person you are living with is important not only for your home life but for the rest of your life as well. In order to keep peace in the home, when you are moving in with a roommate or taking a roommate in, here are some simple tips for making sure that everything starts and stays smooth throughout your living relationship:

• Set rules for everything up front: Right from the beginning of your relationship with your roommate, you should have clearly defined rules to govern the care and maintenance of the home as well as your courtesy toward each other. This is not a time for one person to make demands on another for what will and will not be. Rather this should be a time of suggestions for the greater good. You need to decide who will be responsible for cleaning specific areas of the house - don’t just leave it general like “we’ll pick up after ourselves” because what one person considers picking up after themselves, another may think is being a complete slob. You should decide on hours for parties and visitors - if all night and any time is fine with both of you, then go with it. If no visitors after 10:00 is best to make sure there are no loud disruptive parties, then suggest it and discuss. Food is another item that is important to consider. Will it be communal or is it every person for his or herself and hands off?
• Revisit and revise the rules on a regular basis: Don’t set the rules in stone as you will likely need to modify and adjust them later after a trial basis. The point of the rules is not to make either you or your roommate(s) uncomfortable, rather to smooth relations and living between you.
• Set clear, easily enforced penalties for breaking rules: This may seem a little harsh but it doesn’t have to be. Some roommates keep a jar somewhere and anytime a rule is broken the rule-breaker has to deposit a quarter or a dollar. The proceeds from this jar are used to purchase community items for the house like cleaning supplies.
• Don’t set yourself up as policeman or nanny: If you set up a method of penalties for breaking rules, don’t be an “AH HAH!” busybody about pointing them out whenever you can. You and your roommate should agree as adults that you will each recognize when you have broken a rule without being nagged and manage the consequences accordingly.

Just as with any friendship, relationship, marriage or what have you, living successfully with a roommate requires plenty of open communication and that should be your first goal - to establish those lines of communication and a sense of approachability to one another. Once you feel comfortable talking with each other, you should have no problem working out any differences that may come up between you. Be friendly and flexible, but don’t allow yourself to be walked over to such a degree that living in your own home becomes an unhappy situation for you.